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Mental health conditions are transitioning to self care and this is evident in the number of self help books for nearly any condition. The two most common conditions that have self help books available are Anxiety and Depression. The way these are meant to be used is by reading through book and working on any suggested activities, then talking about self care with a therapist who may only be able to schedule one 45 minute session per month.
This treatment method is both prescribed and evolutionary. Therapists were unable to meet demand of the mental health consumers, and people who had received treatment were more than willing to share what they had learned in therapy. While this is normally not compliant with professional responsibilities, licensing, or certification, the compromise was self help books and treatment with a professional to describe what they are reading, how it is helpful, and whether they need additional treatment or diagnosis. Most self help books are written by a person with a PhD or MD designation. Few people however will be getting, for example a BSN, MD certification or an MPH, PhD designation. Various authors are well known for providing accurate information that is dependable and evidence based allowing examination of diagnosis and progress by a treatment professional.
An official social anxiety diagnosis requires 6 months of symptoms for treatment and is not just an assessment for feeling awkward in a social situation. There is an awkwardness about the awkwardness that is felt regarding the social situation. This means that they experience a discomfort about the social anxiety in addition to having anxiety about the social situation.
Most people describing themselves as having social anxiety experience a shyness, hesitance, or discomfort about new situations only. There are certain things they can try to overcome the nervousness or shyness, such as introducing themselves to a small group of people first, enjoying a comfort food or drink before or after meeting someone, or meditating and thinking through possible outcomes of introducing yourself and explaining why you would like to participate in their activities. A lot of activities are done on a platform, meaning there are multiple venues or locations, or a venue can be scheduled or time allocated for specific groups. This can allow people to participate with their own group of friends if they can be convinced this is a fun new activity.
Meditating or having comfort foods or beverages before an introduction is normally to work up courage. It is normally a small snack, like an appetizer or small beverage that will not induce discomfort. Meditation should be brief, 5 to 15 minutes, possibly with some breathing exercises. A medium sized meal, half gallon of drink, or 30 minute to 1 hour meditation might distract from the introduction.
Afterward is normally done to calm the nerves. Did they say yes, no, maybe, we'll think about it. All of that can be exciting and can overwhelm people that were overthinking the introduction. This small comfort food or beverage, or quick meditation will help the person recenter themselves and not be overly focused on the event that just happened.
Before and After can be troublesome, there was a need to work up courage and then steady the nerves. This can indicate that some self reflection on making new friends or participating with introductions might be necessary before trying this again. One of the hardest parts is meeting new people but care should be taken in assessing the level of stress when deciding its ok to make an introduction.
Interest - the activity the group is participating in is very interesting. The person might want to try the activity or has already done the activity but has never met anyone that does that same activity. This can cause nervousness that the person will say that they don't have room or there isn't any time to bring a new person into the group. Well, while that can be heartbreaking it is usually not an outright no, and it provides practice to ask somebody else or to ask again later if they have any time lately or have freed up their schedule.
Awkwardness - This is a common feeling with people describing themselves as having a social anxiety. It can be a nervousness about the situation of introducing themselves but more often is that they feel they are awkward and will be perceived to be weird and awkward by the people they are introducing themselves to. Culturally awkward data point is another perception that people feel about themselves when describing a data point. Well, people are different and people are friends with other people they might describe as occasionally awkward but they are still friends and don't point those things out to others. They let other people make their own assessments and decisions and there is usually a commonality with people that hang out together. They may not be similar in all things but they do share at least a few things in common.
awkwardness can be assessed as differences and described as I like that about you, this behavior makes me uncomfortable, I don't like when you do certain things around me, or I'm neutral about certain behaviors your concerned about or asked about. Most people are looking for a compatibility in similarities and will let you know if something is completely incompatible with their concepts of friendship.
New environments - these can make people nervous or shy, especially if there is something intimate or private about the experience. Its good to ask lots of questions before the activity or event because once the activity or event starts, you will either have to go along with the group you are with, abandon them and find a way home, or sit in corner waiting for it all to be over. This last option can definitely make people feel awkward, but its an option and can lead to self reflection. It can also help with discovering a new list of questions to ask the next time there is an opportunity to try something new.
People often describe themselves as having social anxiety because they have an interest in trying something new but are hesitant to participate. This can be a nervousness, shyness, or paralysis. If the paralysis occurs in new social situations, or existing social situations that a person is already part of for at least 1/2 a year, this might require clinical diagnosis and ongoing treatment. After lab testing, any ongoing treatment, if needed, should not be a reason to refrain from social activities. Many people go to therapy while they have friends and might tell their friends they talk about how certain situations make them feel. Others go to therapy and maintain strict confidentiality about their friendship and rate their level of anxiety each week on a scale 1-10. The then use self help books to discover if their friendship is going in the right direction or if they actually like the activities they are participating in.
While anxiety can be debilitating for some, it can often be reduced to a stress assessment on a scale of shy, nervous, paralized, or neutral. While this may seem like an oversimplification to some, stress does cross over with anxiety on a more advanced level and it makes sense to correlate these concepts in this manner for those doing self assessment.